Your stuff rocks. I drink literally a gallon of Tejava per day. My office fridge is basically stocked with the stuff. My friends and family tell me I am going to get a kidney stone from drinking so much of it. To that, I tell them to mind their own business!

You know how some people play that game with their spouses that each is allowed a list of celebrities that they are allowed to sleep with if the opportunity presents itself? (Kristen Stewart, Eva Green, Mary Louise Parker in case you wondered).

I have a list like that, but for jobs. While I love my job at the advertising agency, I really think i’d be a super evangelist for Crystal Geyser and Tejava. I could be your Jared (except not as skinny but also not as nerdy).

Unfortunately for Crystal Geyser, I won’t live in San Francisco so maybe instead you could just hire our agency to work on your marketing from the dusty, polluted confines of Arizona?