Just an open letter to COX Communications in Phoenix, Arizona.

Dear COX Automated Robot Support Lady:

Thank you for saving me $50 this evening. Your inability to help me reset my Pay Per View pin number kept me from ordering UFC 100 using your COX inDemand service. Instead, I will probably just download the fight clips off illegal file sharing sites in the morning – more portable and in better quality than what I’d get by watching on my television.

When you said: “Just tell me what I can help you with” and I said “Reset Pay Per View Pin Number” I kind of expected you to, well, help me reset my PPV pin. But you didn’t. Maybe your masters didn’t program that, which is a shame, because after you replied to me with some sort of “I don’t understand” I asked to speak to an operator.

“Wait time is currently 10 minutes, please continue to hold”.

35 mins later, and I am still holding.

40 mins later and I decided to keep my money and write this blog post.

And what is the deal with these automated support numbers? Why do they ask me for a bunch of information, fail to have the answer to my question, then put me in touch with a human operator who has to go and ask me for all the same information over again? Why not just give me an option to talk to the robot or a human from the outset and save a lot of aggravation?

Here is how it could work:

“Hi, thanks for calling Cox support. You have the following options:

Press 1 if you would like to go through our automated support. Automated support can help you do A, B, and C.

Press 2 if you would like to just talk to a real person. This is a good option for X, Y, and Z.”

I know, because it costs more to have a real person respond. But how much does it cost you when I get tired of your support and go to Direct TV? Or, say, Dish Network. Or say hell with all of it and just run Hulu or my Apple TV for my shows.

Stop being so mediocre Cox.