Ugh, i thought – i do not want to go to work today!!

But went, i did. And now, i am sitting outside of the Willamette Noodle Company, one of my favorite places to eat (despite maybe the service not being ALL that great) and sitting outside enjoying this weather.

Everyone says that Oregon has the most beautiful weather during the summer. So far, this is my first experience with it and I have to say, they are right. Now, hopefully it lasts more than a day or so!

I just finished reading Artie Lange’s Too Fat to Fish and whatever sympathy i may have had for the former Stern Show comic is now totally gone. If you loved Artie on the show, then i would recommend NOT picking up this book.

In a nutshell, Artie is a drug addict. Odds are, even after his latest attempted suicide, that he is STILL a drug addict. Addiction of course is a sad thing, and you want to see people shake it. Artie however, despite being given like a hundred chances to get clean, didn’t. This book more or less talks about all the times that he told family and friends he was getting clean, but actually wasn’t. It was a depressing read, and the only reason i finished it was because i felt like my time would have been completely wasted had i NOT saw it through to the end.

I hope Artie does get clean one day, but i am sad to say i don’t think it will ever happen.

]]> http://www.notwillsmith.com/uncategorized/too-fat-to-fish-review/feed 2 http://www.notwillsmith.com/uncategorized/back-to-salem-for-good http://www.notwillsmith.com/uncategorized/back-to-salem-for-good#comments Tue, 16 Mar 2010 03:38:28 +0000 William Smith http://www.notwillsmith.com/?p=497 Its been a grueling past couple of days. The last I wrote, I was heading back to Phoenix to help move my wife and the 2 dogs up to Oregon.

When I arrived at the house, there was quite simply a staggering amount of work left to be done. My wife had done a lot, including renting our house and coordinating all the movers while working a full time job. However, there was a ton of cleaning to do and besides the major furniture being missing, there was pretty much all of the smaller items to pack and things to trash. Since we were moving into a house that was roughly half the size of our previous, there was just a lot to get rid of.

I personally made 4 car-full trips to Goodwill and 5 “after midnight” runs to nearby apartment complex dumpsters to discard of old mail, refrigerator items and miscellaneous crap.

That first night, i think the two of us slept a combined 3 hours. In all, we did about 20 hours of work in the house cleaning it up over a full day. To put that in perspective – we spent as much time cleaning in 1 day as it took for us to drive from Phoenix to Salem in 3 days (20 hours).

Once we got on the road things got a little easier. We weren’t running around cleaning things, but we were stuck inside a confined space for 3 days with 2 dogs and probably a fourth of our belongings. The drive from Phoenix to Salem took us across the state of Arizona, through Palm Springs and onto Los Angeles, then north through Bakersfield, Sacramento and Redding into southern Oregon, crossing Medford, Ashland, Eugene and finally Salem. 20 hours and 1000 miles later, we pulled up to our new rental house and immediately unloaded the car as we had about 2 hours to return our rental car.

Right now we are ALL relaxing (our dogs curled up on the floor next to us as we lay down in the only real furniture in the house, a window seat in the living room). The days ahead will still be busy, but less stressed as we can now move in at our own pace.

It feels good to rest.

I’d imagine it is going to be weird on a number of different levels:

1. I haven’t seen my house in about 2 months
2. I haven’t seen my dogs in about 2 months
3. I haven’t seen my friends in about 2 months

House wise, i’d expect the place to be in the same condition as we moved into it – totally empty. This was out first home, and I guess technically it still is until we sell it. It will be different to see it stripped of everything. It will also be weird to walk through it with the new family which will be occupying it for the next year. Someone else is going to be calling “The Monster” home.

My little boys… Well, i hope they remember me. I know they will, but wouldn’t it be fucked up if i walked in and they started angrily barking at me? I’d be heartbroken. My plan is to immediately fall to the ground and let them maul me though. That should be nice. It is a little bitter sweet, because i took their sister with me when I left and now she is gone.

My friends! They will be picking me up at the airport and taking me to lunch. That should be a lot of fun, and while I haven’t changed that much (gained about 10 lbs) it will still be a little weird to see them again. I feel guilty leaving them behind, but for the most part talk to them everyday.

Obviously, i am super excited about the move. For one, I missed my wife and over the past month and a half have felt more like a vacationer up here in Salem than an actual resident. Then there are my dogs. With the passing of my cat, its been pretty lonely. You never really know how much pets enhance your life until you lose one, or are separated from them. I have often wondered if they would miss me, or forget who I was. I guess i’ll find out next Friday when I see them. Really, i can’t wait to just let them maul me when i walk into the door.

It is going to be a little strange seeing my house totally empty. When i left it, it was full of our crap!

Get to grab the keys to the new place tomorrow evening, and that should be cool. We’ll have electricity, gas, water and all the utilities minus internet there. Maybe i should get that set up now? Still have my work furnished apartment for another 2 weeks so there isn’t a huge hurry.

Once Kelly gets here and we start to explore Oregon I am going to make this site (or some other site, i haven’t decided) more visual with pics and stuff.

Today I had to put Blues to sleep, and it was a very difficult, sad day. It was gut wrenching and I feel genuinely sick about it, still.

Blues was the best cat I could ever ask for. I can’t even imagine wanting another one after her, having had her as a companion for almost half of my life. The ride with her to the vet was the hardest thing i have ever done in my life and if you put a gun to my head and told me i had to do it again, i’d literally refuse.

Having said all of this, i need to move on, be strong and recover. I’ve been able to hold back tears so far (at least for the past 5 hours) so maybe i am on my way to that recovery. I know there will be bad days ahead, but hopefully i will be able to only focus on the positives as time passes and remember her for what she was – dad’s little princess.

Goodbye Blues, your mom and dad love you.

Blues hasn’t been herself since the move. Maybe it even started before, who knows. In any event, over the past several days things have taken a turn for the worse with her and now I am faced with an agonizing decision. After taking her to the vet this morning, and after getting blood work done, its now apparent that she has kidney failure. This has manifested itself in the fact she isn’t able to have a bowel movement, that she is peeing on herself and her bedding, and now, she more or less just lays in her pan. She is lethargic, and obviously in a lot of discomfort.

It is amazing how fast this all has happened. Just a month ago I would have never thought she was sick, or that vital internal organs were basically “giving up.” But, they were.

So tomorrow I will call the vet clinic to discuss our options, but it is clear to me that I am going to need to make peace with letting her go soon. It may not be because of this kidney failure, but it could be from any number of things. The decision might get taken out of my hands if i just can’t afford the treatment. The blood work alone was 400 dollars.

Blues has been an awesome companion. She isn’t just a cat. I remember getting her. I was living on my own away from home the first time in an apartment. I was lonely, and I had just broken up with my girlfriend at the time. I went to the pound to look around and saw this odd looking black cat. What was odd about her was the shape of her head, something i don’t even really notice any more I am so used to seeing it. I brought her home, and I remember that it took her a few days to be comfortable enough to come out of hiding.

Back then, Blues had claws and she would use them, frequently. I didn’t have a bed in my apartment. Instead, i slept on an old couch that my folks had given me when I left home. Blues would sleep on the top of the backrest of the couch. I remember she had a loud purr, and it basically helped me go to sleep at night.

How ironic that I am in similar circumstances now. I’m by myself, in an apartment and it is just me and her. Unlike then, I know she can’t lay next to me and purr to put me to sleep.

This was over 12 years ago, back when she started on this adventure with me. We’ve been to Florida, Georgia, Arizona and now, Oregon. She has seen 5 different dogs come in and out of my life – Penny, Brita, Nadia and now Scooter and Danny. Throughout it all, she has been a great, great cat. More than I could ever ask for.

I haven’t cried this much in god knows how long. In fact, I had to take about a half hour break just in between writing the last paragraph.

Maybe in some sort of symbolic gesture (although i have no idea what it symbolizes) I decided to shave off my beard. I’ve been so anxious about her condition, i was literally yanking chunks of hair out of my face. Now after crying so hard I have a massive headache and a long day ahead of me tomorrow.